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Focus Focus Focus... Not my strong point. Instead I enjoy life regardless of my focus.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

part two

So the study required me to gain a lot of weight (which I am still trying to lose) in order for the cancer to feast on fat not organs. It was a very specific diet and I did everything that was required of me (although at times not without griping). I graduated from an interpreting program, took my state exam and just kept living life one day at a time. Wondering what my life was to hold and why I was still here, although excited that I had met many of my goals and more days were still coming.

We had a guest speaker at our church and he asked people to go down for prayer on healing but as I told you before I had long since gotten over the need to be healed instead my desire was to be whole and joyful (as much as possible in the moment) and so I went down to the alter aside from the speaker who is from Sri Lanka (SP) and I prayer for life with a teenager, a young boy that would be a teen and for my interpreting skills and God’s dreams for what I was to become and do with that blessing. I could definitely feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, I was burning hot even sweating and crying and praying and then I got ready to go back to my seat when I could no longer walk (remember the tumor in my spine) well I cried harder and harder and my neighbor came down to pray with me thinking I was melting down (which looking back I think maybe I was, I knew this was a possibility, but I was in denial enough that I never truly thought this was going to happen). The heat sensation continued and I told her and finally by the time the prayer was over I was able to get enough strength to walk back to my seat (shaking ferociously but walking). See my husband was home building a fence to our new house so our Yorkie wouldn’t be eaten (again) by the neighborhood German Shepard. I stayed through the service which was phenomenal and after it was over I asked my friend have you ever felt anything like this before, she said, “yes, a few times” I thought man I better start hanging out with her more often. I felt renewed, still scared and shaky and new I had to go tell the doctor and I had my neighbor follow me home in case it happened again (although looking back driving was probably a bad idea). Anyway, I told my husband all about what happened I cried, and for the first time in a long time I was scared. Really scared. I had a weird peace but still the idea of no longer walking was a lot for me to grasp.

So, Monday I gave my blood like I always did (I had landed a job at an area school that was everything I dreamed it would be, and part-time to boot) I still had to go on Friday and Monday mornings to give blood to see the counts and see where I was with the treatments etc. There had up to this point been no significant changes, the floating tumors were gone but the rest was still there although in places a little less dense. So, Tuesday morning I received a call from my doctor in the OKC area telling me the courier had lost my blood and I needed to go back to the hospital and give again. I explained I had just started this job I would go Friday but it seemed to be that was sufficient. He disagreed, threatened me with hospice so I went in. Then he called and asked for me to come to the city for x-rays on Saturday. I did all of the above, by Friday they (him and the man from Texas were here) they began running tons of tests and told me that things were strange, they didn’t elaborate much except they told me my blood work appeared to be completely normal and where I had been given bone taps I was never suppose to heal from I no longer appeared to have holes or possibly a tumor was covering that (I was thinking must be bone cancer) I went through that for a week. Not sharing with a soul because I didn’t want to scare or get the hopes up of anyone in my family in case they were wrong. I knew they were searching for many answers. I missed a whole week of work telling my husband I was going so he wouldn’t wonder why I was so sore and tired at the end of the day and I wouldn’t disappoint him if more were wrong.

Okay, so here my friends is the great part. September 28th (the speaker was there at church September 19th) I received yet another call at my work on my cell it was my doctor. He asked if I was sitting down and I said yes, (but I was still walking to the next class) he said are you sure his voice was excited yet shaky I said yes but I need to go so what did you call me for this time? Knowing in my heart my Father was with me and I would be okay no matter what he said. He continued to tell me that it appeared that I no longer had cancer, I was WELL! I said WHAT? What does well mean? Do you realize how many things I didn’t deal with because I was going to die and now you tell me I am going to live and I am going to live WELL? What is WELL? I had never thought about it because I felt so blessed to just have life. I still cry when I say it. He said not only are you well but all the bone taps that leave little holes just normal they are all solid again, every count falls in the exact middle of the normal range as close as science can detect. I was going to live and I was going to live REALLY! This meant no more fear of illness, or a paper cut that could cause me to bleed to death because of low platelets. I could scrapbook again, take care of my kids when they were sick, go shopping without a mask on to keep from getting germs. Christmas shopping at the malls not in catalogs I could have what everyone had been calling a “normal life” again. I came home I called my neighbor and told her to drive to my house when she got off not home and she did and she screamed I had already called my mother, my sister and my husband to tell him I had news for him after work. It was amazing. IT IS AMAZING!!!! God healed me. The best part was when my doctor said the good news is I believe you were healed without a doubt, there is no other explanation that is the good news, the bad news is the doctor from the study thinks he is GOD! We laughed it just didn’t matter. The study doctor was angry because I didn’t follow the process of getting well he still believes the cancer has merely moved it isn’t gone. I know better and I have been well two years this coming September. I saw my son start school get almost every award possible this year and my daughter will soon get her drivers license the dance I wanted to see was as great as I thought it would be. I have talked to her about her first love and even gone through tough things with them but I am alive and well and our God is a healing God, he is so good. He didn’t do it the way I thought or the time I thought but the bottom line is he did it in his own perfect way. I still keep my goals short because we all should; I try to think positive although if you read all my blogs you see sometimes I don’t. Still I know I am here today because God said I would be.
That is my story! Thanks for the encouragement I got this weekend about telling it and thanks for reading through this long drawn out message and know that I am a living breathing testimony of God’s power. When you doubt or wonder if he will take you through it know that he will and his way is better than we ever thought possible! AMEN!


  • At 7:37 AM, Blogger kpjara said…

    This always makes me cry and always will! I didn't realize that healing was on our anniversary! Now I'll never forget the day your life on earth was returned in full!~

    I love you!

  • At 7:12 PM, Blogger theresa said…

    Awesome story. I'm speechless, except to say that you got the lesson, you apprechiate what God puts before you now. I have a similar story, one day I will share it too.

  • At 8:56 AM, Blogger the voice said…

    What an awesome testimony. God does work miracles. And the cool thing is, He has healed you for a reason. Be open to whatever He asks of you. God bless you, Ken

  • At 1:48 PM, Blogger Dawn said…

    Thank you for this awesome story of God's power and grace. It has blessed me this afternoon. I had to chuckle when you told about having to deal with stuff that you thought you'd never have to because you were going to die. That was great. Thanks again.

  • At 7:14 AM, Blogger sarah said…

    wow, Wow, WOW! Praise God! Thank you so much for sharing this testimony. You are truly a living miracle. Like Ken said, He healed you for a reason. He wants you here on earth. May that be a comfort/encouragement to you when times are rough.


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