Thursday

It is the almost weekend and I went to marriage counseling yesterday, the good news is my husband showed this time. The bad news is the weekend hasn’t even arrived I will be gone a lot of it yet I already feel WEAK-END I am so glad God is going to take care of me because I feel like I can’t do it anymore at all. I can continue because it is what we do but I feel like I don’t even know anything for certain anymore other than that God does love me and he shows up when I think there is no hope left.

Why do I feel so sad, I guess because since it was our first appointment together I had to relive so many of the sad times. You know how people used to ask if you could go back to anytime in your life when would it be? Well, I have always said I thought 21 but I realized yesterday no more. I am way to young I want to move forward in fast forward. As kids we always wished for the next year the next age then we got older and wanted to slow down. Not me I want to move forward faster then ever I am so ready to rest in my Father’s arms and praise him and forget all of this turmoil on earth. I hate it. I hate all the stuff our flesh and other people’s flesh takes us through.

Depressing I know but not really because the ultimate peace isn’t depressing it is what brings me hope and the courage to teach my kids go on because our life here is short and heaven is going to be our reward for the things we go through here. Perfect peace that is what I will dream of tonight to get me to Friday! Thank you God for the things yet to come!