Trying to Understand

This last week my husband who generally is very sweet, just quiet, had oral surgery. Apparently when they removed his impacted wisdon teeth they removed his wisdom with it...I can't believe I said that. Anyway, this was on Wednesday then thursday I woke up and he sat down to talk to me. this was after 5-7 inches of rain flooded our area and neighbors houses (it fell in 1 1/2 hours)scaring my son and bringing him into bed with me (since Kevin was sleeping in a chair sitting up) anyway later he returned to talk and lay down when he fell back into what I believed to be either a heart attack as I thought he was dying in my arms gasping for air etc. Or a seizure. Guess what, we still don't know because he refused to go to teh doctor when he came too. Although I am now sure it wa a seizure.
Many things he said following that event, he denies saying. Although, they were hurtful and I know he said them. It is like he doesn't remember. All of that I could have lived with but because I forced him to ride with me to his work that he insisted on going too. I was crying because I wanted him to go home and rest but he refused calling me his mommy that drove him to work etc. It just got worse to where we couldn't even talk anymore. After all of this, I asked what are you saying do you not want to be married to me because I loved you so much I wanted you to seek medical help? His reply was simply, "I don't know."
Well naturally we went to counseling through the church, and they said I have to learn to let my husband be turned over to God. Him going to the doctor was up to him not me. I can see that to some degree, but I didn't feel he was in his right mind. Does the bible not also say that he is supposed to lay down his life for his wife like Christ did the church? Not to mention I feel like he showed my son it is okay no matter how upset your wife is to deny her what she is asking of you. It isn't like I was asking him to take the day off and have a lazy day (although the doctor did tell him to do that) I wanted him simply to go to the doctor and let them decide what happened. I love this man so much. I wanted him to take care of himself. I went to years and years of chemo, transfusions, hyperthermia (a blood treatment) and so on to fight my cancer and be here for him and yet he is not sure he wants to be married to me because I wanted him to go to the doctor? What do I do, how can I understand this? I am leaning on God's understanding but as a wife I can't force him to stay if I can't get him to go to the doctor how can I convince him he wants to be married? Marriage wasn't invented so we could just quit when it didn't feel right it was invented to have companionship here on earth until death do us part. I am hurting and confused and I feel empty. If you have words of wisdom feel free to share, otherwise thanks for listening to my really depressing blog!