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Focus Focus Focus... Not my strong point. Instead I enjoy life regardless of my focus.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

ice storm and prayer requests

I can't beleive the ice we have gotten in the past few days it has been crazy. My parents were here for a visit and got detained. It wasn't bad but two kids being locked in the house indefinitely with two grandparents who fight as much as the kids is a bit overwhelming.:) I have enjoyed the help and support but its been interesting to say the least.

Okay so the latest with Kevin is he called me several bad names and included in that he hasn't loved me in 7 years and that I am lazy. This is coming from a man who was allergic to grass so when we were happily married so 2 days after chemo I mowed our yard. I work out and walk and do many things and all he does is laugh at me if I try to remind him. He is basically totally away from God and sadly lost. I still love him (thanks to the gracious God we serve) but our relationship is sad. I will wait for God to restore us, but more than that I want him to get Kevin to walk with him again. At this point I do not beleive he will inherit the kingdom of God and I think that is the saddest thing I have ever been faced with.

I asked God last night if it was my fault that Kevin walked away to talk my life like David (I think) asked I want to never be accountable to pushing someone away from God that would really depress me. Then I asked him if Kevin is going to die an unsaved man I wish that I could go now, maybe that would bring him back to God. Then this morning the comforting Holy Spirit told me that God has told me in time he will restore my marriage and that I wasn't to take Kevin back before he was right with God. Therefore, of course he was coming back to God because God wouldn't have given those conditions if he wasn't going to do it, nor would he restore me to a man who isn't a Godly man. So, I had both questions answered through the night and then confirmation this morning I believe. Please lift him in prayer everyday I don't have a lot of strength and I need to focus on my walk with God, but if you all will faithfully pray I know God will answer and I will stand in agreement with you.

Anyway, the Lord has been good to give me work so I can survive while Kevin only intermitently(sp) pays for groceries etc. He is still obsessed with the money he left for me in the account what a joke. I have been in the hospital twice, to the doctor I don't know how many times, then there was Christmas and gas etc. He is so confused. I am not living lavishingly like he thinks.

If this ice clears off I can work the rest of the week. If it doesn't I guess the Lord will provide another way. I am going to my church today to ask for financing the attorney until the injunction is served on Kevin. I am not sure they can help but maybe if nothing else they can give me some work to earn it quicker. I need this and God knows it so please be in prayer about this too. Not to mention getting out on these roads is scarey. I grew up in Colorado they cleared the roads and it was snow not ice, it isn't quite that way here. UGH! Thank the Lord school should be back in session tomorrow. Please God let your will reign.

See you later.
Michelle

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

God is Good

I had a rough New Years Eve, but I am happy that everything is new. The Lord has given me a number of words and signs telling me to walk in faith not by sight and I pray this year I learn that better than ever before. Not because I am up for trials, but because I hate what I see so much. I love that man I married with all my heart, I just wonder what this new guy did with him. Things are nuts and yet we go on. I feel upbeat today and went back to work part of the day, it was scarey, but it was also good. Keep us in your prayers, tomorrow night we have family counseling and that is always emotionally draining. Have a great day. Thanks for the prayers and please keep on praying.

Michelle